an open letter to the one (you know who you are)
have i told you that you scare me? you seem like someone i would fall for. and i did.
how i wish i did realise this at the very beginning. i understand these feelings are a bit too much for you. or maybe it is because no one ever showed you that you are worth all this love too.
knowingly you taught me so much that i would have never known otherwise, and unknowingly you taught me what it is to love myself again for all the mess that i may be. for all the chaos i bring. when anxiety and guilt was groping and suffocating me, you came like a ray of light and caressed every broken part in me. you saw through me, every inch of my soul.
and i? i fell in love with those eyes, that laugh and the way you called my name. i fell in love with all of you (yes rant all you want about how you are not perfect - to me you always will be). how can one not. i thought it would be just a phase, for our friendship was the most beautiful relationship i ever experienced. have i told you that?
i believe our feelings pulled us closer. alas! not close enough to admit what we really felt.
those feelings may have made it a mess, and i must admit i did see the mess coming. oh! we did have so many stories to share. we laughed, cried, argued, and saw each other vulnerable. and somewhere in between, i fell in love.
we hugged, we held each other and shared one kiss. just one. how i wish that night at the pier continued for the rest of eternity.
i realise i would have never known what loss is had i not loved you - what it is like to love someone so much that it hurts, unlike what they say in the movies. one will never know till they feel it.
i know i have changed, and so have you. evolved, let's say? perhaps the reason is a part of me still clings on to you. or maybe those memories amongst all the other lessons you have taught me. yes, i have learnt to let go. a practise and a path i now seek.
i am sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for everything you've to go through because of me.
i am grateful too, grateful despite all the mess, our friendship stands strong and my love for you even stronger.
just know, i promise to always walk by your side and support you in everything you seek. just know, even if you are not here,I'll always be standing here with my love.
just know, you may grow old in years, but you are forever young in my pages. you will forever remain in my poetry and words.
yours truly
V
Image credit: google.com
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