Hey there!
Firstly, I hope you are well!
Loss - this word has earned the top spot in my dictionary over the past two months. A rollercoaster ride it has been, and I am still learning. So how do I deal with loss?
Now this one's still a little too hard to digest (even now and probably will be for a long time to come).
I recently was fortunate enough to meet one magnificent soul. Now I have given the said person many titles amongst guide and mentor. However, this universe had different plans for us (I would rather blame it on the universe than the people involved around us).
It has been exactly two months since things fell apart (a story for another day). During this time, I have understood loss is a part of life. Inspired by a few people around me, I had started reading the Bhagavad Gita sometime around last year. While I am still trying to understand the book and its essence, there is something that caught my eye. In it, it says birth, old age, illness, and death are the four things in this world that are certain. Now, I understand all this seems too morbid and hard to digest. Trust me, I do. However, once I decided to take a step back to dive in and understand (well, it is an ongoing process), it was a tad bit easier when I became familiar with the concept - isn't that a thing? Familiarity makes even the worst a little more comforting.
NO, I do not mean that we build a wall around us and refrain from experiencing any pain or attachments. It is honestly beautiful in its little way. But, the more I read on it, I have learned that to accept the inevitable.
Some days, it is difficult, and I still question every possible aspect - my fear still manages to get to me. Like Sadhguru says, "Fear means to suffer what may or may not happen in the future", that is, fear comes from a lack of knowledge. Something which if thought about deeply applies here.
When hell decided to break loose and topple over my barely sailing ship, I managed to develop anxiety like never before. It was then that I decided to sit down with myself and pen down why am I experiencing this. Amongst other fears, I found this little one hiding by itself. It knew the minute it was addressed, the no-entry wall would crumble. I realized this fear rooted in losing my friend (and what if it was forever?). Now before we go any further, let's address the elephant in the room. Why is this friend even important? While I intend to address this topic in-depth at a later date, let us say this individual is Hermione to my Harry Potter.
Now back to the meat of the topic - As I was sharing my thoughts and reading, I learned, we are all spiritual beings. This body is nothing but a shell, our relationships - temporary. Harsh? However, it is reality. The more I tried to control this situation? I lost control. No life did not go 'my way' on this one in particular. Allow me to tell you, IT SUCKS.
Nonetheless, I have decided to suck it in. I won't lie. I wake up every day hoping today will be different. I have learned to trust the process (no, I do not every day. Somedays, I am just the rebel teen in a 20 year something body).
All I know is there is a connection, a soul connection. A soul connection is nothing but something that lasts longer than one lifetime. I believe we share something similar. An eternal bond that has connected us for lifetimes and will even beyond. So, here I am building and focusing on strengthening this bond, not just with this individual but with everyone else I care about...
Now, how can we build meaningful relationships? It could be something as simple as spending time together with the person you care about. Make someone smile, laugh or sometimes just listen. Simple yet powerful.
With that said, let me sign off.... much much love to you <3 <3 <3 doubled with some warm cozy hugs...........
Oh! and don't worry, if all this seems a bit too much. I am still at the beginning like you 😊 We got this!
With love and gratitude,
V
Disclaimer: I am no therapist to guarantee the above steps would work for you as they did for me. This is something I have been practicing diligently for the past two months to help cope with my anxiety and work on my relationships. However, if you find it difficult to cope, please do not be discouraged to reach out for help.
P.s. This post, 'Gone with the Wind' is dedicated to this said angel in my life who ............... (we will fill that one day eventually - there is always hope ;))
I am not sure what force introduced them into my life, but I always knew I shared something special with them, which no words can ever describe, and indeed I was right. However, let us say life had other plans, because not a second late, the universe decided to grab it all way. Just like that - Gone with the wind.
On the bright side, here I am learning to trust the process. Some days it is difficult, and most days, a tad bit more. But, every day, I hope onto a little bit of hope.
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